Friday 24 August 2012

Joy Block / Breathe Out


Two recent poems. The first came about as I struggled to complete a different writing project (about the resurrection of Jesus, no less). It's pretty morbid, I know, but at least it's real... That said, I don't like that it never resolves into something positive. In some ways when I read the second poem here, it feels it's a kind of solution to the first... so I thought I'd post them together. Oh, and for what it's worth, if you're an angry person like me, I very much recommend writing as a way to channel that anger into creativity.

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Joy Block

So is is how I really feel,
This crap,
This filth,
This so stuffed up futility of my feeble fragility that is honestly killing me,
The angering anchoring of my heart to a horrifically hungering shore,
And perfectly presenting me with some sad situation that's preventing me from having any chance of sailing forth,
Of getting towards the things I sing that I am literally, last-legs longing for...

And sitting scrawling these things just frustrates and breeds hate all the more,
For it poignantly proves
That I actually am right, I'm not just out the groove
That I actually can write, repulsively revealed currently by my black bic biro moves...
It's not the totality of the whole art that's been stopped.
My sublime selfish suffering is simply a JOY block.

Where do i turn from this babbling bubble of freakish frustration
When the sum of my brief is to meet with sheer, sweet celebration...?
Help.
May the blackness subside and the block finally be lifted
For it's not negativity like this for which i was gifted...
How long will it be until I finally find full peace
The kind that allows some real joy to be really released...?


Breathe Out

Breathe Out
Gripping frustration that lasts the duration of a drearily draining dim and drizzling day
Mid-temperature, grim and grey
Necessary therapy of creativity amidst community, set me free as ‘unwind’ now I say
To myself
Powered by secret whiskey while cooking for three recently and caffeine cup of tea in parallel
Now what’s that smell?
Subtle dose of sweet nostalgia
Sprinkled in pinch of melancholy
Vibrations rhythmic bring the power
Of cyclic synapse extensions, these are melodic memories
Animatronic and harmonic, cold catatonic now let me be
If that is what it takes
Now for my mind truly to unwind as it illusively imagines casual colour and seismic shapes
All these words on a page not for any point to make, but simply art for artist’s sake, lifeline of learned sanity
Cathartic, healing humanity
Gradually dispelling undisciplined gripping desire to scream an angry shout
Forcing this rhino charge back to a measured margin that will let it be, and Breathe Out.
Gradually dispelling undisciplined gripping desire to scream an angry shout
Forcing this rhino charge back to a measured margin that will let anger leave and Breathe Out.
Gradually dispelling undisciplined gripping desire to scream an angry shout
Forcing this rhino charge back to a measured margin that will pure peace retrieve, now Breathe Out.

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